Has wooden teeth, chased Moby Dick...

"Dude, that's Captain Ahab"



James was in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. He was neither Bill nor Ted.

Um, James is a spy?

Yeah, I don't know if I'm supposed to tell you this. But James M. Robertson is a spy. That's right. Sort of top secret stuff, but really, really cool. He has lots of spy stuff, like a shoe phone and a watch that does a bunch of cool stuff. So, if you see James around, remember that he might be doing spy stuff.

Actually, James is Superman

Or at least, he met superman. That's right, James M. Robertson met Superman. THE superman. He got his autograph, but lost it later at some place or something.

James is a shape shifter

It is hard to believe, I know, but James M. Robertson is indeed a shape shifter. But the only thing he can transform into is an ordinary cheese grater. Weird, right? But helpful if you'd like some shredded cheese.

Also, he's a pirate

James M. Robertson is a pirate. Really, he is. He has sailed the seven seas with some famous pirate types and has done some serious pirate stuff. He's bad ass.

Um, yeah, they wrote a book about him.

Helping others find the "love match" they deserve

James M. Robertson, mild mannered customer service representative by day, has a much more noble, and dare we say philanthropic goal by night. This married man helps others make "love matches" for the lonely travelers out there.